In an effort to move on from 2020—and since we all needed some cathartic relief—Eagle Eye staff said goodbye to 2020 (and hello to 2021) with a song and breakup letters. Here are some highlights.
WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER (2020 Version)
(Set to Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together)
By Cameron Pien (’23)
I believed in you up till March, when you
Sent me to my room like a little kid, and when
I said I wanted to go out and see my friends
Then you said I should just call them (what?)
Then you knock on the door and say
“Baby, there’s nine months left, I swear I’m gonna change, trust me”
Well I was bored inside until July
I say, I hate you, and why’d you, steal my fun, away, hey
Ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I saw the new headline last night
And ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh
It’s December and I’m telling you, I’m telling you
We are never ever, ever getting back together
We are never ever, ever getting back together
You can knock on my door, come on New Year’s Eve, and call me
But we are never ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
Fine, I’m gonna miss having school online
Wearing my pjs and having more free time
But I, can’t get over what you did
When you postponed my dance performances
Ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I saw the new headline last night
And ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh
It’s December and I’m telling you, I’m telling you
We are never ever, ever getting back together
We are never ever, ever getting back together
You can knock on my door, come on New Year’s Eve, and call me
But we are never ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
Ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh yeah
Ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh yeah
Ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh yeah
Oh-oh-oh
I should have known that we weren’t forever ever, ever
And I used to say, “Maybe it’ll get better”
“Huh, so he calls me up and he’s like, don’t take down your calendar
And I’m like, sorry, I already bought a new planner, you know,
Like we are never getting back together, like, ever”
Oh, we are never ever, ever getting back together
We are never ever, ever getting back together
You can knock on my door, come on New Year’s Eve, and call me
But we are never ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
BREAKUP LETTER #1
By Johanna Seng (’21)
To 2020:
Frankly, were I forced to choose one word with which to describe our relationship, I would choose “toxic.” And here’s why.
When we first met, I tumbled absolutely head over heels for you– tall, dark, and handsome, cloaked in an irresistible air of mystery and enticing possibility. You were so sweet at first, too. January and February were something out of a dream. New Year’s ushered in an all too brief bliss: the start of a promising track season, followed by a magical prom and a deliciously lighthearted spring break.
Then came the dark days.
You revealed your true colors with a statewide lockdown, spoiling my chances of a decent track season. You laughed oh-so-cruelly when I reinjured my hip and did nothing to support my rehabilitation effort; yet you still expected me to respect you and run at your every beck and call. You watched with a lazy grin as I struggled through March to June, heavily laden with sinking grades and floundering mental health.
And worst of all, whenever I worked up the courage to stand up to your constant tyranny, you laughed in my face. You called me weak and kicked me while I was down, assaulting me with bullet after bullet of snide side comments and painfully blunt accusations. “It’s just a pandemic,” you’d drawl, voice laced with a venomous edge. “Are you so fragile you can’t even last through the rest of the year?”
Well, the joke’s on you, 2020. I did make it through the entire year. But now, I’m done. I’m done suffering the consequences of loving you in all your toxic, manipulative glory. I’m done with killer viruses, insane presidential elections, wildfires, protests, flash floods, murder hornets, and whatever other sick games you might still be hiding up your sleeve. I’m done.
With love (not),
JS
P.S. I’m taking the kids.
BREAKUP LETTER #2
By Lan Lan Lee (’21)
Dear 2020,
It’s been almost a year since we’ve been together, and I think it’s best that we part ways. I would say I’ve enjoyed the memories we’ve made but quite frankly, not everything has been sunshine and rainbows. You keep throwing way too much at me, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep up.
First, I’ve gotten so lazy because of you. I now get winded from just jogging up the mere fourteen steps of my stairs. Every time I try to be productive, you lure me in with Netflix and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups….STOP USING MY WEAKNESS AGAINST ME! The hours I’ve spent contemplating life is concerning because you refuse to let me go see my friends! I’ve been discovering some things that I never wanted to discover in the first place.
Second, I have no clue what your obsession is about, but I HATE IT THAT YOU’VE ENCOURAGED PEOPLE TO HOARD TOILET PAPER, LYSOL, and ACTIVE YEAST. Seriously dude, toilet paper is essential, and I need Lysol to keep everything sanitized because we’re living in a pandemic. As for yeast, even though you’ve helped me realize my joy for baking (which is the only thing I appreciate about you), I can’t do that when all the active yeast is gone.
Third, why did you have to introduce your friends Tik Tok and hyped-up Youtube to my friends? I have a headache thinking about the amount of times I’ve facepalmed because my friends are either watching ASMR videos or trying to learn the Renegade…. It’s ruined so many good songs since they are overplayed. Your friends, Tik Tok and Youtube, did us dirty by encouraging us to enter full “couch potato” mode, and I will never forgive you for this.
There are so many more things that I can list, but why waste any more of my breath on you? I was hopeful when the year started, but you’ve definitely proved me wrong. I sincerely hope that we never cross paths again and that you’re able to sort out your mess.
Sincerely,
So Tired of You
BREAKUP LETTER #3
By Sydney Senter (’21)
My Dearest 2020,
Hmmm, how do I say this? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but, at the same time, I’m so over this. Although we’ve been together for almost a year, I feel that for my sake, and frankly the whole world’s sake, it is best that we go our separate ways.
When we first began our relationship, it was new and exciting! I remember the anticipation leading up to meeting you. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of getting to know you; I just had a feeling that you would change my life completely in the best ways possible. I imagined an amazing future for us. We would travel around the world together. We would visit college campuses together and you’d help me decide what campus I would want to spend the next four years at. We would hang out with my school friends in an attempt to make some final memories before the end of senior year. This is what I wished for. This is what I hoped for. Unfortunately, we weren’t even halfway through our first month together when all of these possibilities vanished completely.
It all started with my broken foot. I was put in a cast and my entire plan for my gymnastics season was thrown out the window. How could you let this happen?! I mean, sure, it was fun to ride around the school on a scooter for two months, but it would have been even more fun to be able to train and compete. Also, you weren’t there for me when I got my wisdom teeth removed. You were supposed to give me a speedy recovery. Instead, you so generously gifted me with a clotting complication on the second week of my recovery and then an infection on the third. I was in so much pain and you just sat there chuckling at my swollen cheeks.
And then to top it all off: the global pandemic. I don’t really know if it is you that I am supposed to blame for the world turning upside down, but you’re in the line of fire right now…sorry. Honestly, I thought you and I were close enough to the point where you would at least warn me about the unpredictable events that would come, like quarantining for over five months or the unpredictable cancellation of events like Senior Camp or the Olympic Games! At the beginning of our relationship, you let me and everyone else believe that you would guide us through obstacles with grace and lead us to great accomplishments and rewards in the end. We all know, though, that this was, for the most part, not the case.
But when all is said and done, I am grateful to have known you and been in this relationship with you for this long. Without you, I literally wouldn’t be here today. So I do have you to thank for that. Don’t get me wrong, you have given me lots of joy thus far: introducing me to Grey’s Anatomy, allowing me to spend more time with my dogs, helping me to become more comfortable with technology. However, I’ve decided that it is time. It is best for us both if we part. I’m sorry…but also not really. I guess this is goodbye.
Yours Truly,
Sydney
BREAKUP LETTER #4 & A LETTER TO 2021
By Dilan Chock-Makiya (’23)
Hey 2020,
I know we have been dating for about a year, but I think it’s time for us to….break up. I know you have been trying your hardest to improve on your bad habits, but I think you had way more than ENOUGH time. When we first started dating in January it was fun, and something new. As the months went by you showed your true personality, and trust me, nobody liked it. When you are in a relationship, things don’t always go one person’s way. For example, I could not see anyone for about a whole month, just because YOU gave me the chicken pox, and you did not even apologize.
Anyways, I’m pretty sure that you saw this coming, after we have been distant for quite some time now. FYI, I kinda have been texting your cousin 2021? I hope we can at least be friends if it’s not that awkward.
Hey 2021,
I finally ended things with your cousin. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us since I was kinda dating your cousin, but I was hoping that we could go watch the fireworks or something..New Year’s eve?…if that’s ok with you. I just hope you’re not like your cousin, or this will be a huge disappointment, since I was looking for a new start. Not to be mean or anything, but I just don’t want to do things the same way as 2020. So, when do you wanna hang?
BREAKUP LETTER #5
By Alexander Marutani-Cole (’23)
Dear 2020,
I feel that this relationship does not work for me. 2020, this is goodbye. From the moment you brought Covid-19 into my life, I knew you were not the one for me. You and Covid have made life difficult for me and everyone in the world, and have caused much panic. You have forced schools to change how they teach and made it a lot harder for students to learn. You have caused financial problems for countless families, who will take a long time to recover. And in addition to the destruction you’ve caused with Covid, you’ve also made a mess of American politics. The elections you oversaw were a mess, to say the least, and how can you sit idly by and watch while people question its integrity? This will slowly tear the country apart if you don’t do anything about it.
I think it is best that I stop seeing you and just so you know, I’m going to start spending more time with 2021. Above all else, 2021 gives me reason to hope that things could go back to normal in my world. 2021 hinted that there may be a new path away from the Covid-19 pandemic. Also, 2021 indicated that she may let us all return to school in-person, all at once. Plus, that also means that sports will also go back to normal. I’m also hoping that 2021 will make masks a thing of the past. My main hope, however, is for a speedy and timely economic recovery for not only our nation, but for the whole world. It’s clear to me that these things will not happen due to you, 2020, and I’m putting my hopes on 2021.
I remember when I left 2019; you promised so much but as this year went on, I just saw how wrong things went and now believe that we should never see each other again. To be honest, anyone will be an improvement to you so I’m definitely looking forward to my date with 2021.
Xan
